(kristen)                                                             photo: Zach Arias

Reasons that make sense, or not

Bitterness loses its power if everything happens for a reason. __

I’m on a highway somewhere outside of Houston, Texas. We have a show in Austin tonight. The van is packed full of our gear, and I sit on the bench seat right behind the pilot and co-pilot. My feet are propped up on the mini refrigerator in between the two. Needing to keep my insulin chilled does have its perks… we travel with a fridge. __
“My dad was buried just north of here,” declares Dan (Listener). __The three of us talk briefly about the crash that took Dan’s father’s life, and some of the aftermath stories that followed. A few moments of silence, as if in memory, and then back to “whatever” chatting. This made me think: _

“Everything happens for a reason.” __

This quote is used all over the world as a sort of “feel better” antic. When things happen, good or bad, people use this quote to make sense of things they can’t understand. I want to take a moment and make note that I fully believe this quote.

I have often wondered what my husband, Dan, thought about this quote in regards to his father’s death. The whole family, both parents and two kids, were in a car accident when Dan was 6 years old. His mom was severely hurt, his 3 year old sister didn’t have a scratch on her, Dan had major injuries to his shoulder leaving him with a “short arm”, and his dad was left for heaven. Sad story. However, what little sentiment Dan has shared on the situation, leaves me impressed with his overall outlook. I am left wondering, “If something so tragic happened for a reason, then I have to believe God allowed it for something absolutely great to happen in the end.” __

I begin to trace steps. Without going into detail, some of those steps have to do with money. Surely money wasn’t the reason. I’m sure there are many personal life lessons that affected all three of the surviving victims. That might be the reason. Dan has mentioned before that he never would have ended up making a career out of music if none of it had happened. Is this one of the reasons for the death of a father? If so, then I have to believe that God would want some amazing music. Am I reading too much into this? Let’s say I am not, just for the sake of my thoughts. __

Let me take this a step further. Was part of the reason God allowed Dan’s dad to die, because I was suppose to eventually be affected? After all, I never would have met Dan, much less married him if the accident had not been reality. Even further, music would have never been a part of my life. Okay, come with me, yet even further again. I would not have learned bass guitar in order to tour full time with my husband, and therefore, would have never been sitting here, right this second in my life, writing this article. All of the sudden, I feel selfish. Even so, everything does happen for a reason, even if the reasons are seemingly small. __

Let’s look at what-ifs now.__ What if you are sitting there at your computer reading this article. Because of the article, you start to rethink your life and how everything has happened for a reason, in turn, leading you to exactly where you are right now. What if because you have this train of thought right now, you decide to also believe the quote, “Everything happens for a reason.” What if, by choosing to now believe this, you are able to let go of any bitterness you might hold in regards to a situation that has happened to you. What if, by letting go of that bitterness, you are able to live life at a better quality than before. The what-ifs can go on forever. __

My name is Kristen. I play bass in the band, Listener Project. I am married to an amazing man named Dan. Sometimes I am unfair, sad, irritated, angry, stupid, selfish, and human. Other times I am happy, excited, grateful, smart, peaceful, selfless, and human. I love the God who makes sure everything happens for a reason.